you never really knew me at all

i'm feeling creative tonight... so i made this. I still have a soft spot for these two, much to my dismay.

Anywhoo.

I used this:

And this:

To make... this!:

I admit, I have more important things to do... but photoshop might come in handy someday... maybe?

finally, I'm worth it though I'm not perfect, it still feels right

Today, I painted a night time seascape

It's not finish yet, but it's getting there

81 cm x 60 cm

A1, I think

Death by a thousand cuts

Don't wikipedia the death penalty.

Just don't >.<

Have faith in what you don't know

I am extremely passionate about writing.

It's what I love.

It's what I want to do.

I've admitted it.

Rambling.

• You can fly from Dublin to Chicago with Aer Lingus
• You can fly in a connecting flight from Chicago to Vancouver with United Airlines
• I found my way to Canada on a flight to Belfast from Faro, Portugal with Aer Lingus
• I hope I have the balls to fly 13hrs in total when I'm old enough to settle down
• I should already have tbh. I've flown around 17 hrs in the past to Australia
• I really want to travel when I'm in my twenty somethings
• I hate lounging about on holiday
• I want to get out there, get lost, eat crappy food, get a car and just drive until the sun sets
• I want to do something with my life
• I really want to help people
• I want to go to Kenya and build a house for a family that deserves one because the love that they share is something that Western families just don't. They don't need money to be happy.
• I want to go to Pakistan and somehow, try and help the families that were affected by that awful flood. No one deserves that.
• I want to adopt an Ethiopian orphan because the world is overpopulated as it is. It doesn't need another human spawning. I want to give a child a chance at life it never knew existed.
• I don't know anymore. I know what I want. I know I need to change myself and my life and my habits and just everything. Maybe change is too strong a word. Improve would be a better one. I'm so, so spoilt and I know deep down, that I'm not happy with everything I get because I know its far too much and I know that don't deserve it. 
• I don't want money to make me happy
• Spiritually, I'm at a loss. Christianity is too modernly influenced. 
• I'll find my beliefs somewhere, sometime. I'll find it when I'm happier at a deeper level.
• Right now, I'm happy. I'm happy with my life, where I stand, everything. I just know deep down, that my happiness is shallow and easily broken, easily repaired. 

Right now, I just don't know.

I'm too young to comprehend how I feel right now.

But I'll understand it, someday.

...

It makes no sense at all.

It makes no sense to fall;

As the world falls down.

-David Bowie [As The World Falls Down]

I see my little doggies again tomorrow

imissthem

Just thinking

I was just having a little thought. Nothing in particular, really. Just that, it wasn't always like this, was it? Y'know, where you can walk down the street in the dark and not even think twice about getting strangled or raped or anything of the sort. It wasn't always that people had so much money, and food and pretty clothes and nice hair, and even make up to doll themselves up. It wasn't always so, was it? People were lucky if they got a pound a week. They had no choice but to walk down dark smoggy streets and think of all the bloody nightmares that could happen to them. They might have even had to face some of those nightmares. Pleasuring another man, to feed your child sitting cold and wet and lonely on the street corner where you told him to stay. Worrying whether he's still there or some bastard has put him out of misery. Maybe it would be better that way.

Maybe somewhere, right now, people still have to live like that.

They probably do to.

To think, we've come all this way, through the pain and suffering and honestly brutal times just to have nice hair, pretty clothes, food on the table, a doctor we can go when we're feeling poorly and a family who'll give us the love and the support we crave.

All that torture, just to shape the greedy bastards we are today.

And to think, that torture is happening right now, somewhere far away from here. And that torture will shape their future. They'll become something similar to what we are today.

And, by then, I wonder what will become of us.

~ "One day men will look back and say I shaped the twentieth century". - Jack the Ripper

He did too. Prostitutes are illegal now.