Colour

I just spent an hour colourizing this picture of Audrey Hepburn. I hope you like it. I'm really tired now.

i love you. i really, honestly love you, with all my heart and mind and soul.

I wish I had the excuse to say cliché shite like that.

I'm going to paint this because it's beautiful.

It's really, honestly beautiful.

When I paint it, I'm going to ruin it.

It'll really, honestly end up a beautiful disaster.

We Could Write a Bad Romance

I wish that I could be taken away by a flow of seeming harmless words down a long and winding river with sharp bends, narrow streams and rocky beds. I used to be able to take myself away like that but now I can't. I am so easily distracted when I try to write. I look back at those stories, the ones that I had so much fun writing; crying and laughing as I was writing them. I loved how they brought me with them. But I look back and all I see is contradictions, poor flow and over all extremely awful quality. Was I really a good writer? For my age, maybe. But I'm getting older now. I see things differently than I use to. All my childish innocence and ignorance is gone; I'm finding it hard to see the good in some people. Those words sound as ominous but they are so undeniably true. I'm narcissistic now and I hate it.

Too be perfectly honest, I know that:

• I write fantasy because I'm not content with reality
• I write romance because I'm lonely
• I write from an older point of view because I can't wait to grow up
• I know that I write because I can't speak.

4 dah lulz. lol.

i saw eclipse on thurday. the films are getting progressively better, in my opinion. the more peter facinelli, the better.

Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow

Hello Tomorrow.

Tomorrow I'm going to lie in my bed and do fuck all. I really wanted to go to Belfast tomorrow, but no. Have to work the most awkward shift, 6-10. I can't be bothered. Although, having a job has made me realise that I'll be working my ass off for the rest of my life. No matter how hard we try to make ourselves stand out from the crowd, or how hard we believe we're different, we're all the same in that way. I think I've learnt that now. I've also realised that if I don't do well in my GCSE's and A-Levels, I'll be spending my life working in a café when I could have been doing something I was really passionate about doing. The third and final thing I've realised is that I can't wait to go back to school.

Now, that is fucking sad.

Peace

Be more mellow, dude.

Bittersweet Fantasy

"The girl leaves with him. Her long curls caress his arm that is wrapped possessively around her waist. In the starlight, the pavements shine like silver. The rain drizzles, and the girl shrinks into him for protection. She knows she is vulnerable. In the darkness, the trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers. Black silhouettes against the silver moon hung in the starlit midnight sky. The night scares her. She wants him to protect her from the unknown."

Je suis désolé mais je ne sais pas. 

The trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers

'On My Own' - Les Miserables. I really love that song at the minute.

I start working in a coffee shop tomorrow, as a dishwasher. I found out on Tuesday and since then I've gone over about a million different 'worst case' scenarios. Par exemple:

- Walking in and tripping over my own feet
- Walking in, not sure, goes to the till and says "Hey, I'm supposed to start working here today'. They look at me and are like, "Wtf, no. Go away."
- Not going at all.

I need to dry my hair and I'm getting a headache. Gonna take some Kalms around ten, hope they help me sleep a little tonight. I'm honestly so nervous. But I want to do this.

Good Lord, I want this.

I remember I used to love you

But I don't know what love is anymore.


I start working on Sunday. I'm so nervous. I don't know what to expect. But I honestly can't wait.