This is a contradiction in itself.

I remember when I was littler, I used to read children's books about animals. I remember how I loved cats and how dogs frightened me. I remember I wanted to be a vet at one stage because there are very few jobs which children see through their rose-tinted eyes. I remember getting a papercut and the teacher sending me to the back of the room to sleep on the bean bag. I remember continuously swapping seats at two desks opposite each other so I could sit next to my best friend, but she didn't want to sit next to me. I remember I used to take all the shit that she put me through back in primary school and I regret being thrown around like that. But I knew that without her, I was alone and there is nothing worse than being unwanted.

I wonder where that innocence went. I'm not sure who I am or why I'm here, but I am and I probably won't ever figure it out.

As for now, I know that:

• My name is Jessica
• I'm fifteen years old
• I live by the sea
• I will have done my GCSE's this time next year
• I don't drink
• I don't smoke
• I don't do drugs
• I don't like being around people who are drunk/smoking/high
• I prefer serenity 
• I'm probably very boring
• No one reads this, thank goodness.

In my opinion, I think that sometimes it's good to remind yourself of who you are, no matter how self centered it might seem. Because, if you don't know who you are, how can you expect others to know who you are? 

The man who sold the world

Once upon a time, a long time ago, there was a man who sold the world. Then he had no where to hang his head from that day on because of the daft thing he done.

Don't leave before you meant to or you'll never find home again.

Pulp

Today, I was suspended from Yahoo! Answers for encouraging self harm and suicide.

Question: I'm ridiculously insecure. I worry too much about what people think of me. HELP?

*babbles on about some english speech they'd fail and die of embarrassment*

My Answer: Head up. Shoulder's back. You know the alcohol hand sanitizer in the toilets? Yeah, well drink it up. You may feel more confident, or you may die. But you said you'd die anyway, so... Oh, and put this in the right section next time and they will take your more seriously.

What is the world coming too.

The man who crossed the road

Once upon a long time ago, there was a long and lonely lane. You'd be surprised at how long and lonely it was. Not a dime nor deer for a hundred miles either way, maybe more but no one ever knew. On either side of this lane was a dark and sinister forest to the right, and to the left was a beautiful meadow with a rippling lake right on the horizon. 

Beautiful and blackhearted creatures inhabited the dark and sinister forest to the right. These creatures were so corrupt and dire that not a soul went near them. These creatures had two arms, two hands, two thumbs, two legs, two feet, two eyes and two lips. Their very beings were filled to the brim with darkness. They were distracted from the light and drawn into temptation. 

However, there was a man who had done so many awful deeds; some too horrible to even describe. But there was something different about him. He felt sorry for what he had done. Somehow through the mud that covered his slimy skin, the light entered his eyes and he was sorry. He gouged out his right eye and cut off his right arm, keeping only the left. Why keep a reminder of something so dark?

The man then crossed that long and lonely lane, with only his left eye and left arm, knowing that he was much better of without them both.

The moral of that story is that if your drawn into temptation, you should come out a better person than when you were before, even if you've lost something important along the way.