these pretty things and these silly sods make me want to rip my nerves out and make them into a pretty picture i wouldn't feel

i suppose the title says it all.

i don't know anymore. i suppose i never did. i wish there was just one moment in my life recently where i couldn't feel anything about it. people's body language, eye movement and they way they speak are just too much for me at the minute. and i'm not completely sure why. one minute, i'm as right as rain, the next... ugh. 

i'll never understand that phrase; rain isn't right. it's wet and cold. 

i wouldn't mind another month off. i wouldn't mind being antisocial for a while. might even do me some good. if this wasn't a hypothetical case.